Yesterday I met my elementary school friends whom I haven't met for more than 9 years. I'm not going to talk about the awkwardness although YES that was a totally awkward moment. Especially compared to my high-school extracurricular reunion which run incredibly great where the laughs and gossips are well served and enjoyed.
I actually found a reflection from this moment.
Back to elementary school, I was a kid who didn't speak much. It was so hard for me to express my feeling through words. And it still happened until my junior high school time. I was also experienced emotion unstable times where I sometime exploded. I made a conclusion that it was caused by my inability to express what I feel. So everything stayed inside my body and when it's full, it exploded.
In the beginning of my high school time, I made some kind of promise to my self that from that time on, I must get rid this inability. I must try, however hard it is, to develop my self. All I want was to be able to express my self, my thoughts, my feelings directly through words.
And seeing my self right now, I can't decide whether I've accomplished my goal or not. But sure in the process to reach THIS (and by THIS I mean my self right now) I've really been a lot of things and experiences, and met a lot kind of people. Things, experiences and stranger who now I call friends that are really worth gratitude and thankfulness.
Lately I've always thought about the future, what I will do, where I am gonna go to, whom I am gonna end up with. My fears and worries on whether my dreams will come true or not, whether my plans will run smoothly or not. But this time, looking back and seeing how long I've gone feels unbelievably great.
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